Parental thoughts... Wants vs. Needs and maybe TMI

Well, there are only 19 days until Christmas!  This is always an exciting time of year, even though a biggish part of me selfishly wants Daniel to share it with me... But I think all of us feel that way.

Parker got to open a present from Daddy last night on Skype.  It was a box of wooden blocks.  Boy, did he show off for his Dada!  He got all excited, took the blocks out, and showed Daddy how good at KNOCKOVERS he is.  He kept runinng out of the room (as soon as he passed through the doorway he thought he was hidden, and we'd say Oh Where Is That Parker?!) then he'd turn around laughing and silly-running back to me at the computer.  It's so cute, he kind of dance-walks, throwing his knees out to the sides and flailing his arms about.  He kept giggling and acting goofy. It was lots of fun.  He's so charming :)

He ate a lot today.  I've learned that I have to forcefeed him the first few bites before he realizes that he LIKES it... Then he chows down.  For a boy who eats probably 80% MommyMilk, this is an improvement because he normally only eats goldfish, sweetpotato puffs, or pretzel sticks.  Well, Momma came to the realization that what Baby wants is not necessarily what he needs, even if it would make him happy to eat crunchy junk carbs all the time.

And just in the past 3 or 4 days I've really tried hard to apply that thought to many areas of my parenting.

---> I think it is my job to do what's best for him in the long run, despite temporary unhappiness... I'm learning not to focus on Parker's FEELINGS as much, because it is very important that I teach him what's RIGHT, as uncomfortable as it may be sometimes!  Face it, if we all did anything that felt good at any moment... we'd all be fat, uncommited, and uneducated. (I do not dismiss the feel-good parts of life though, I'm talking about a fair balance and I think you know what I mean).  Seems easier to just let him have his way all the time, but I know that won't benefit him when he's older.  I want him to learn self-control and be a respectful young man, and even though it is difficult now.. I'm thinking it will make life easier later.  I'm not a meanieMommy, I just want to instill in him some proper manners (i.e. no throwing food, or on-purpose spills) and he really does understand when I tell him to stop.  Its not just SAYING it either, its FOLLOW THROUGH.  I'm no expert but I know that repeatedly telling a kid to stop doesn't make them listen to you unless they respect your authority and know that consequences will come after disobedience.  Parker gets 1 minute "isolation" in the pack-n-play and is normally ready to return to good behavior afterwards.  He actually doesn't even cry when I put him in there most of the time, but that break also gives ME time to walk away and cool down.

So even with "demand feeding"-- he was wanting to nurse nonstop this morning. I told him no because he had already eaten for like 45 minutes.  I have NEVER told him "no" about Mommymilk before. He cried, but only for a few minutes.  I held him til he relaxed and finally went to sleep for about 3 hours til waketime.  Oh it broke my heart a little  but I knew he was dry and full and needed sleep.  I'm a sucker and can't stand the CRY IT OUT alone thing, so I let him cry in my arms.  It worked.  He also usually wants to nurse a LOT during the day so I've been spacing it out a little (he knows the sign for milk and says MAMAMA (mamamilk) when he wants it, so I have to tell him "no not right now honey" + a fun distraction). I'm also trying to fill him up with more solids.. I can't be an all-day buffet- its exhausting! He is 14 months old and I don't plan to wean him anytime soon but I also plan to help him slowly adjust.

We are trying to get him into his bed in preparation for Daddy coming home, but with all the traveling we've done its been tough... yes, he's wound up in bed with Mommy for the past several months, and he actually slept through the night (in his own bed) when he was 6 weeks old so i know its my fault!  So I've been putting him down for naps in his room and starting the nightsleep in there too.  He's getting used to it, and because I'm not going to bed at 8pm and snuggling him all night, he's learning a little independence and confidence in me that I will still be there (even if I am in the next room) when he wakes up.  And when he's awake I have to make a point to read books with him, play, sing, goof off, and snuggle with him. I must get down to his level (crawling), and bring him up to mine (helping Mommy). 

For the most part, we have lots of fun together!  He is such a sweet child, and he thinks I'm funny so we laugh a lot.  It's so neat to see his little personality developing and his curiousity growing.  Being snowed in the past few days has allowed me some time to focus on these few areas.  I'm a new mommy and have a lot to learn, but I feel a lot more confident with a goal in mind.  I don't expect perfection (from Parker or myself) and that's a big step for me. My expectations might go back up again tomorrow though, haha, so I've got to continually pray for guidance and a daily (or hourly) reality check! Maybe my thoughts can help someone else.

One last thing, I've decided NOT to do hair until Daniel is back home to take care of Parker while I'm doing it.  The past few appointments have been quite disastrous... He doesn't understand that Mommy is "off limits" while unfamiliar people are in the house as Mommy is attacking them with scissors and spraying them with water.  I end up saying "sorry, hold on while I try to get him to nap/eat/chillout/playalone/whatever" and its totally unprofessional. He ends up covered with hair and it gets all over the house. Clients are here for LONG periods of time and we all end up hungry and groucho. The only exception is if I hire a sitter (profit=ZERO) or its someone who Parker is comfortable with their spouse.. So that leaves me with like 3 clients.  I'm cool with that for now.